BIO-DYNAMIC BACON

Masters National Championship TT

2011-09-03T20:26:00.000-07:00

: The podium, the Jersey, and the Medal.

Bend OR, a modern efficient town sitting on the threshold of an arid tumbleweed desert, and the base of the Cascade Mt range. The perfect place to host Masters Nationals, Bend is burgeoning with Ponderosa pine, the Descutes river, and cool looking rocks. One of them is named the Monkey Face and I hear its a pretty sweet rock climb. I'm not sure what kind of rocks they are but maybe we can get the famous Phil Mooney to chime in with a little geology lesson when he gets a break from racing as a Pro. Phil? At any rate moving away from the rocks, where else can you find the roundabout? You may not believe it but these simple creations completely eliminate the need to sit at a stop sign or stop light. They send motorist and bikers alike on a daily journey of smooth flowing traffic ensuring peace, safety, and enjoyment for all. Marin soccer moms, if there is one thing you deserve, its the roundabout.
OK, I'll get down to it. The TT course is one that I've done many times only on this occasion its shortened from about 35 km down to 25 km. From the start it snakes out of the High School and heads up an innocent looking climb. The innocence is lost pretty quickly as the road soon pitches up and becomes steeper the farther you travel. After about 8km you turn around and head straight back down the hill reaching speeds of over 50 mph. Then at the 16km mark, you make a sharp turn right and head up over a rolling bluff with with a few power climbs, roundabouts, medians, winding descents, tumbleweed, and some pine forest. There is a golf course in there at some point but between the sweat in my eyes and the snotty drool splattered all over myself I couldn't see a thing. I set the fastest time of the day as I crossed the finish line and then anxiously listened to Dave Towle announce the time of the riders that follow. In the end I won by about 35 seconds. Its a great feeling.
Now some people may call me a sand-bagger, and that's pretty much what I'm secretly calling myself. However I didn't call Lance a sand-bagger when he showed up at the Tour of the Gila and I was 47th place 1:47 behind the TDF champion. I felt privileged and stoked that I made it to a level that allowed me to even line up against him. In respect to my competitors I'm obviously not Lance Armstrong and have no grounds to compare my performance with his, but you hopefully get the picture.
As a 31 year old amateur racer, I fit into many different categories. I may race as a Masters 30-34, a Category 1, some races pit me against the domestic pro teams, and occasionally I'm lucky enough to line up against a big name UCI Pro rider from the TDF. I am the in between rider without a true home.
The way my season has gone I'm just happy to be riding my bike. But I'm obviously elated to walk away with a national championships jersey and super fat gold medal. Even if it was masters category 30-34. I know some riders that would pay a large some of money for the chance to wear one of these and I won it fare and square.

: How do I put this thing on?

Vacaville Grand Prix and Pack Fodder

2011-08-30T14:49:00.000-07:00

: Just saving face

I love this race its fun. The Vacaville Grand Prix has a bit of everything. A power climb, a kinda fast descent, a straight away to get things established, followed by a narrow pinch your ass cheeks together and hold on tight for your life hairpin, and lots of 90' corners that require you to turn your head in a direction other than to the right. Thirty laps and super hot. At the start line it was Justin Rossi, Nate Freed, and me (Mr. Pack Fodder). My fitness has been lacking to say the least but, little do the masses know, I broke my Collarbone 7 weeks ago. Currently, my legs are like whip cream on shit, no matter how I dress them up they still stink, but at least I still have a presence about me that makes people uneasy. As such, I used my rancid reputation to my advantage and attacked like a ravenous turkey vulture vomiting missiles aimed for destruction. Lacking my usual voracity and velocity, I was lucky to go half the distance falling short on every occasion. Its was all I could do to perform a solid attack and avoid the inevitable slaughter house. The meager strength of my legs forced me to latch on to any available wheel with my head hanging low whimpering all the while for a draft. Ya know I'm Just trying to save face and sell the decoy.
Luckily "Fierce Freed" was doing a more convincing job of being a hoodlum and still holding his position at the front.

: Fiece Nate

: Nate enjoying the action

: Rossi giving it an early go

Eventually about 15 laps in Veteran Norc-Cal hero James Mattis took a flyer and Rookie Rossi was soon to follow creating a duo that worked well together.

: Rookie meets Veteran

Old boy Fierce and yours truly Mr. Pack Fodder promptly set ourselves to the act of patrolling the front and neutralizing anything threatening so as to let the gap grow like a hormone fed pig.

: MarcPro-Strava on patrol duty

Fat Bacon!...........The move stuck and I watched it from the sidelines. My job was done and so were my legs so why not?

: Rossi feeding the gap

The conclusion, poor Rossi took second again.

: Second..........Again!

Rookie boy Rossi has so many podiums this year and has been a factor in almost every finish of each race he has entered, yet he just can't seem to win. Trust me its not because of his legs. I am actually unsure of Rossi's true origins but I think it began somewhere with an ox, a horse, and 30 hours a week in the pool as a collegiate swimmer. He also lives and trains at altitude then races at sea level. The coefficient of all this add up to deliver a powerhouse of a cyclist. However, its his determination that always bites him like a double edged sword. Despite having the best legs and making it into the decisive moves, his opponents just don't feel as ambitious when it comes to setting the pace. I'm sure you don't hear them telling Rossi to go faster or take longer pulls. They're just stoked to sit in his mega draft and conserve. They don't care if the move gets brought back, they have more teammates ready to counter-attack. But Rossi, he worked his ass off to get in this move, he worked his ass off to be able to push the watts, and you can bet your ass that he is going to work to make the move stick. My critique of Rossi is also praise. In just one season he has emerged as the best all around rider on our team and Nor-Cal. We all can count on him to be there when we're not. I think Rossi has amassed 98% of the tools and knowledge in one season that riders struggle to gain in a career. The seeds therefore have been sown and next years harvest looks to be very promising. If I've learned just one thing this year it has to be that I'm glad to be on the same team as Rossi and the rest of the MarcPro-Strava athletes.
Bacon.

Universally Speaking...................a rant.

2011-06-13T16:26:00.001-07:00

meditate on this.

5:30 am Truckee

The morning air presented itself refreshingly brisk yet cool and calm, like a Buddhist meditating with a pine cone in a tranquil forest of wise ponderosa. Well actually It was Jesse Miller Smiths guest bedroom with a balcony overlooking a quaint mountain town neighborhood. That said, it was peaceful, even if at 5:30 in the morning his dog Ziggy was at my feet beckoning fervently with wildly anticipating eyes, drool oozing from both sides of his young fuzzy mug with only one thought on his mind. I want to play fetch throw me the ball. Just like Ziggy, we had one thought on our minds........District TT championships, and of course coffee.

JMS, Frank Spiteri and I left poor Ziggy in front of the TV. I have never seen a dog watching baseball drooling and following the ball as it moves across the screen, obviously dreaming that he may someday be given the opportunity to chase that dream. Truly a site to see. Ok, Ok, ok.........Bike racing....yup, we lined up for the TT........pushed as hard as we could.......two of us made the podium....I was third again, just like last year, and then we piled into Franks Car and the two of us began the most epic race of the day. The drive from Sattley to Benicia to do the Taleo criterium.......It was epic...........We were told by a local, I can't remember his name, to take the hypotenuse. I always thought the hypotenuse was a straight line but apparently to the local it meant driving 80 miles at 40 mph on the most meandering roller-coaster of a road on earth. Rafting down the Yuba river may have been faster. Any rate, after our stressed for time journey we arrived in Benicia and had an epic time finding parking. Locating registration was like a rat finding cheese in a maze with no sense of smell. Then on the way to the start line I managed to crash in the grass, land on my back and have my coke explode all over me in front of 50 spectators. My warm up consisted of 2 hours on the MarcPro while driving and in the end we made it to the start line with 4 min to spare. To boot, I was covered in sweat and sticky, caffeinated, overly GMO fortified corn syrup from my pre-race antics.

The universe was speaking......we weren't listening.

The race started and was going pretty well. Nate Freed, Frank, and I were taking turns tearing it up, counterattacking and having a blast. With 9 laps to go.....I was taking some big digs, and after rounding a corner at mach speed, drilling it off the front, my bike mysteriously started skipping every other pedal rotation........suck balls!.......I pulled into the pit. Dripping with sweat and frustrated I struggled to find the problem. It ended up being a bent chain link that kept jumping every time it when though the derailleur pulleys and around the cog. My race was over........and shortly after Frank joined me on the sidelines. However from the looks of it, things did not play out as well for him.
Frank was involved in a crash but he was patiently and calmly walking to the chief referee with another rider who looked to be berating Frank with every word in the book. This other rider was accusing Frank of acting like a criminal that premeditated a scheme to run him into the barriers causing him to crash and consequentially break his Specialized frame and Zipp wheel.
Now Frank has to be one of the nicest guys on our team and he tends to race in what I would call a very ethical, conscientious and graceful manner. He also has great awareness for other riders in the race and I have never seen him do anything like this other rider was describing. I feel sorry for the other rider but bike racing is dangerous. I fully except the fact that shit happens and I have no one to blame but myself for my own predicament. This is the reality that I have chosen and created. If I had placed a high value on my bicycle and my body then I sure as shit would not be racing a criterium in my underwear and blaming other riders for my misfortune. I race my bike for the experience and accept the risk. I would suggest that other riders do the same. If the universe speaks you better listen. If you want to stay safe, well, I got news for ya.......Just meditate on what the word safe really means and what an illusion the idea of safety really is. When its your turn its your turn.

Bicycle racing is fun, its very dangerous, its exciting and its very unpredictable. In the end its your choice. Stop whining about it. Embrace racing for what it is and enjoy the people and experiences that weave its fabric and display its energy. Take a lesson from Ziggy.........just be stoked, and get even more stoked when someone wants to play ball with you.

I don't realy want to WRitE anything at the moment..........but

2011-05-16T19:06:00.001-07:00

I won my first pro 1/2 race on May 1rst, The Auburn Downtown Criterium............And there was actually one pro athlete present, but he had chicken arms, so I crushed him.
Sorry Max.

In the beginning.

Shortly after

Then I was alone

For a long time.

After 35 min alone I found some friends, or maybe they found me, but at any rate, we had to leave a few of them behind.

The final selection of four.

Still cruising near the end.

Oops, I did it again. Just can't seem to keep friends these days.

I soloed the last two laps and crossed the line alone.

Freaking Introvert!

Gave my first interview!

It was a rough interview. Turns out the reporter, Todd, had a brother named, Trevor, that was a friend of mine back in the high school days in Idaho. Small world, or maybe we are all connected..........eat bacon.

At least the payout was better then the ghetto folding chair for the podium.

Another race report is found here

http://marcpro-strava.com/blog/2011/05/07/auburn-downtown-criterium/

The Dumbo Helmet at the Calaveras TT

2011-04-10T15:16:00.000-07:00

: Still looking for pictures........but this is the dumbo helmet.

Not sure why I came up with the name dumbo helmet?

One look at the picture and I'm sure you can take a guess.

Anyrate, when I slip the dumbo helmet over my greasy mop of gnarled hair, I dumb the senses down and just focus on the moment. My universe becomes as narrow as the space between my temples and I meter the pain by holding my effort on the fence of agony and indifference. The effort is brief, as if I'm rushing through a schizophrenic fit and I must fuse the supreme forces of love and anger, frustration and appreciation, and turn the raw explosive violence of my legs into a dance that's as smooth as a babies ass fresh from a Mill Valley spa and treated with the likes of shea butter, rose oil, coconut wax, flax seed oil, Anica and Vitamin D.

How long can I hold the throttle wide open? How long can I endure the pain? How strong am I? What is the freak'n point anyways and why the F#$%^ am I doing this?

get my drift?

I can't even answer my own questions. Maybe that is why Its called the Dumbo Helmet. Maybe its symbolic of our short lives on this planet and what we choose to do with them. What ever the answer...I love time trials and I love my Dumbo helmet.

Today at the Calaveras tt, I was the first looser.....that means I got second. I got second for a couple of reasons.

Roman Kilun is a paid proffesional....and I have a full time Job, therefore he beat me by 33 seconds.

I broke my ribs a month ago and missed out on a bunch of training.

I was a complete sissy in the last 4 miles and said this is good enough.

It hurt and I did'nt want to hurt that bad.

I'm working on it.

Just wait.

One by one I hope to recycle these excuses into pure brilliant speed....and sooner or later....win a god damned race..

until that time.

stay dumb....its better that way.

The dumbo helmet at the half way point.

The Criterium

2011-04-07T09:22:00.001-07:00

Sticking my nose in it.

We all rode hard.....

It was an L shape course.

It Hurt.

I'm not there yet, but I'm glad my teammates, JMS, FS, the infamous NF and Professor AR.......were having a good ride. They all finished safe and sound, getting in some great crit training with the pros and watching each others backs.

I for the most part felt like a rat in a hamster wheel engaged in a perpetual dash from the start to finish. Each lap was a barbarically obstinate display of wasted energy. My fragile moral was teetering on the void. If I dared to focus on the entire 90 minute task that lay in front of me I might run off into the bushes and cry like a feeble child. My sole purpose it seemed was to complete a lap and do it again as fast as I could without a moment of respite in between. I guess that's the way it should be......surviving the moment and embracing it all at once.

: hanging in perpetual motion.

The peloton was alive and I focused on its movements. I visualized it as one giant organism allowing my peripheral senses to guide me into magical lanes that opened at just the right moment. If my senses failed me, I would most likely end up wrapped around the metal dividers, stuck in the gutter, or shredded by the mob of rabid riders behind me and I didn't want to ruing another team kit.

At some point near the end of my obstinate journey I found the path....I saw the light and I went for it...I shot in front of leaders and then rocketed away from them as if they carried the plague. Nirvana, I told myself, lay just around the next corner and my life now finally had meaning. And then, my legs just failed. 150 yards in front of a enraged peloton I cratered like liquid elephant dung with lead sinkers as balast. Then a rider bridged up and passed me..I suffered trying to grab his wheel....and then I suffered even more as I failed to grab his wheel. Two more riders bridged up and past me they went. Then In a full sprint of whatever worthless strength I could summon I threw in a last ditch effort to catch back on to this select group...Head down, standing and stomping on the pedals, I smacked into a glued on raised reflector in the middle of the road and just about ate asphalt in front of the announcer on the finishing straight. I racked my ribs in the process. The ribs that were ailing from when I broke them a few weeks ago......I proceeded to die on my bike suffering for two more laps. Then without hesitation I threw in the towel and resigned myself to the first aid tent.

My lungs were not punctured. So it was just pain. I would live.

I hope to be healthy soon.

The guys all finished......and finished well.

Jesse Miller Smith had an outstanding race. Finishing 36 in the GC not bad considering this is a pro race, and we are a first year amateur team. Good job team.

Frank Spiteri a respectable 47th

Art Rand 72nd

Nate Freed 99th the Lanterne Rouge

Me DNF......I was in it for fitness.

Nate at the wheel.

"No Wood in Madera" a Madera Stage Race Report

2011-03-16T08:23:00.001-07:00

This year I am required to write occasional race reports for MarcPro-Strava. In the past I have not been keen on race reports........they tend to be boring and filled with "I did this" and "I did that" and "then I was feeling like ____ _ _..so I"...bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla............bla-ed all over myself.

Here is my account of the Madera Stage Race from last weekend.......try not to puke on yourself.

Warning...I have no Pictures

So if your that type.......just leave.

Madera is Spanish for wood which is funny or maybe its just plain sad, (I'm still debating on the selection). No matter where I set my gaze, I didn't see a stand of timber, a lot of trees, or wood of any sort while racing in Madera, CA. For this simple reason, I believe Cow Shit must be synonymous with LSD and the Madera city founders must have lined up at Cosco in force. Stocking up on the fibrous freeze dried patty variety for later consumption at town council meetings. Either that or the trees have all been chopped, reaped from the ground, and or are currently for sale in the lumber department at Home depot.

At any rate the Mardera County Sage race presented by Velo Promo and all their ambiguous Re-neck-er-y is a bright pink circle on my yearly racing calendar. The race has a hill climb TT with cows, a flat TT with bees, a Crit with railroad tracks, and a road race with organic pavement imported fresh from the obliterated streets of post European WWII. Soft crosswinds were available to caress our freshly shaven legs throughout the rolling country side and neutral feed zones satiated our endless thirst as we quenched out gullets with soapy plastic water from re-used, under rinsed water bottles. Truly, I love this race!

MarcPro- Strava made up for its lack of numbers with the brute force of Justin Rossi's calves, Dustins Hann's unique style, and my cracked ribs. Our bright green and pink Jerseys abducted the fields presence and Dustin's yellow Mavic shoes helped hypnotize riders into the gutter where they belong. Needless to say we were well represented and packing heavy artillery.

Day #1

Ben Hur uphill individual tt, (Ben HURT). 10 miles total with 6 miles rolling and 4 miles uphill...shit pavement was plentiful.

I brought my freshly busted torso, a skin suit, a fancy carbon bike, and to cap it all off a dumbo helmet. Rossi did the same minus the ribs. Rossi is my teammate and obvious nemesis and I plan to crush him throughout the season just as I crushed him by 12 seconds today. Mr Hahn decided to limit his shifter to only one gear by clamping his aero extensions on top of his cables and busted it single speed style for a top 20 seating...just wait till he has all his gears. The wind was especially brutal this year and times were appropriately much slower. Boo Hoo!

Lunner 6th 33:12
Rossi 10th 33:24
Dustin 19th 34:37

Day #2

Sharon TT ,10.4 miles flat and breezy.

I was stung by a bee, Justin got his power meter to work.....and it worked......he crushed it and won. Dustin brought his Wal-mart base layer skin suit complete with see through nipple windows. We all had fun.

Justin 1rst 21:22
Lunner 8th 21:56
Dustin 13th 22:24

Day #2

afternoon criterium, complete with railroad tracks and safety cones.

We had a plan.......wait 30-40 min and then be aggressive as possible. Attack simultaneously and sail off into the sunset for the win. Well we got away together.......tore some legs off and then sat back in for the group finish saving some fight for the next day since the sunset in Madera is not really all that noteworthy. Of note, however, was that I broke off the front with 10 min left, noticed the legendary Eric Wohlberg fighting to grab my wheel........I held up, let him grab it, and proceeded to show my acknowledgment by extending my draft around the corner. Then the fucker just countered me and bridged up to the escape group alone and won. Last time I wait for him..........sneaky little shit, guess he's in it for the money.

Day #3

Daulton RR, 85 miles.

5 laps with a roller-coaster finish, 4 to 5 miles of death pavement per lap, and a heaping garnish of crosswind. Still no Wood. However erratic boulders left over from the last glacial ice-age or maybe unearthed from the loamy hills , (who knows I'm no geologist), peppered the countryside. The cows and almond trees congregating around the boulders combined with the green grass flourishing in the overly bovine fecal fields and glistening in the morning light made for the utmost beautiful course ever. Game on.

We lined up for the start, with Justin in 4th in the General Classifications, myself in 8th, and Dusting dangling but still in the mix. The plan...let Cal Giant do all the work to protect their overall. It worked great, until on the end of the 4th lap Dustin asked me if it would be Ok to "start attacking." I said "yes." Then he attacked immediately. I should have been more clear that its "Ok to attack when we have a good opportunity to do so...not just right now because I said yes." After Dustins attack the field went buzzerk and we just didn't have enough riders to cover attacks......duh! And Little Vinny Owens got himself up the road with race leader Evan Huffman of Cal Giant.

Now we have the race leader and 13th place up the road with a few unknown riders left over from the days break. This spelled Danger for our GC hopes! So, instead of pulling the whole field I did what I do best....pick a good moment and blast myself up the road....solo. I was reeled in after a hard chase by the bunch. Then I literally rejoiced to the gods as Rossi blasted immediately off the front countering my move. He dug hard, but after another strained effort by the field he was pulled back...so I gunned it again and this time I was gone. Two riders bridged up with another in route....We we're sailing away less than 40 seconds from the leaders and then........Psstsss!!!!!........Flat!.... WTF!....this is the smoothest part to the entire course. "Madera!"

After a wheel change and a gallant chase with Dustin crushing it like a super domestique.... I was back to the group...Crisis averted...Opportunity gone.....screw that!....the field was sitting still and the break was gaining time. "We can't have this" I said to myself, so as soon as I caught on I went directly off the front...and we started the process over again no bullshit style. We continued attacking and then halfway through the rough section I gave it all I had. Cal Giant chased me in vein and then gave up. I kept going but then someone else drug the remnants of the group up to me. Gasping for air, I looked back hoping to see Justin and Dustin countering...and to the dismay of my slurred profanity they were no where to be seen...Uh Oh! They F..ing flatted as I was attacking, that's just sweet I had no Idea. Now I'm roasted and these guys are all racing to the finish which is only 2-3 miles away. I wanted to puke but I had no choice other than to dig in, latch on to the back, and calm down. I had to regain myself for the finish. I knew Justin's hopes were over. It was up to me to preserve our top 10 in the GC.

I took 5th in the field sprint while Rossi time trialed it in with Dustin. Hearty time bonuses were available at the finish and thus Vince jumped from 13th to 2nd overall with some of the other breakaway riders leap frogging up in the standings as well. I stayed in 8th, Rossi fell to 11th, and Dustin 24th. The end.

We had some bad luck. Surely without the demons of the forgotten madera woodlands, we would have had at least one podium, maybe two but regardless, I left this race in good spirits. As the saying goes "that's bike racing" and I couldn't be happier with the way we rode our bicycles. I had these sensations that we were a super power on the last lap and a force to be reckoned with....I think the highlight for me was Rossi countering my move and riders just scrambling to get on his wheel as if he were that Ben guy from that Bissel team? It was the perfect 1-2-3....with my next attack sticking. Perfect teamwork. When the whole is united and starts riding like this we will have so much fun...wait that was fun.....we'll just have more fun.

Look Out!

My helmet, a cave man, and a broken shifter.

2011-03-04T12:10:00.000-08:00

My Helmet

My Face A cave man

My shifter

Oh, my brake.

And my bike.

How did this all happen?
Well, first of all, I decided to race my bike and needless to say, it comes with the territory.
Secondly, I sometimes ride a bit fast, and on this occasion I rode casually past some riders into a corner at 39.7 mph. I was chasing the back end of a break away group. The corner had a radius that decreases as it almost doubled back on itself........Nothing new, but it was right before we tied into another road and there just happened to be a large white truck shining in my face distracting my eyes from the corner. I have to say that I have no mental image of the actual path the road took which means I never had a chance to turn my head and look. Contaminated with some sort of pixie dust, my eyes directed their full attention on the truck. The gaze was powerful. It was as if I had encountered the most beautiful naked woman glistening in all her nakedness. Speeding under the influence, I commenced to launch off the road Jan Ullrich style. Luckily I hit a rock the size of a 40lb dog and face planted digging a trench into the dirt before I hit the gleaming goddess.....uh truck.

That was it....pretty standard stuff.

One of my favorite things about bike racing or just bicycle riding in general is that it allows me to let go of certain perceptions of society that I allow to blind and numb me. The tepid, convenient, and comfortable illusions of society just fade away. Instinct takes over. The senses scream mutiny at the illusions and I'm planted right in the middle of life blooming around me.
Sure there are other ways, but at this point in time, while my body is still a tool, this is mine.

For this reason, I don't mind that my face is smashed up and my ribs are fucked. Or that my left pointer finger looks like a German sausage used as a dart jammed repeatedly into a dartboard with sheer determination that for obvious reasons failed.

I am, however, really pissed that my faithful, lucky, hand made bicycle, a made only for me Pegoretti....is pretty much ruined for life. I can't just go buy another one.....Its fucked.

I'm also pissed that I'm not racing my bike today, tomorrow, and the next day. Nope, I'm sitting here in pain. Every movement is like somebody is jamming a shredded metal coat hanger into my lungs.....and all I can do for some sick reason is to laugh at it. Then it hurts more...fuck! All the while my teammates are out racing and I can't join in the fun and help them out. So I sit here and say....."you fucking idiot" to myself when I know fair well that I would'nt do anything differently next time. That's just the way I ride my bike and I don't race to practice being conservative. I do that every other day of the week. Maybe this makes me
"not so smart"........maybe next time I'll ride an entire lap before I follow my gut...........Maybe a little balance is what I need. Maybe it just keeps the fire stoked. Have to wait and see.

Better luck next time.

New Shit

2011-01-24T10:52:00.000-08:00

First new post in two months, how sweet is that?............Its my tri-monthly journal entry.

To start the ball rolling, Happy new year!.........and...........I've joined a new amateur cycling team called Marc Pro-Strava. I'm super excited to be racing with some new personalities and for once in my cycling career have a full team to work with. In the past I played the solo nomad I'm gonna dominate and crush like a barbarian role, but now I've found a full team of barbarians.

Hailing from the mountains of Truckee, none the less, these covert firefighting Mongols have been preparing a small army. To put it frankly, I am fearful for the riders that line up against us. These guys are hungry, unknown, and unpredictable. They remind me of fabled mystic animals from the mountains possessing a ragged and raw energy that can only be expressed as though it were legend. An unearthly energy as such cannot be contained. They are un-tapped engines and once ignited will combust like a volatile organic fuel swept down from the mountains obliterating and no doubt scaring the living shit out of the competition. Try to in-vision a bomb blowing to pieces any type of organized structure in the peloton. That is how I would present Marc Pro-Strava. Over the last weekend I witnessed in full force this destruction as they freak'n shredded me to bits and drug my remains over my home turf here in Marin.....Today I can barely walk.

On the roster we have two high altitude firefighters, an ex winner of the amateur adventure racing series, an organic vegetable grower, ex pro baseball player, a professional chef, a ton of unrefined talent, a collegiate football player, and my crazy ass self. The most important component of this team is the enthusiasm that it exudes and the support from the ground up. All of these guys purely love riding bikes and have no greater goal than to have fun. Its just too bad that they are a bunch of beasts and the rest of the field will suffer as the by-product of our fun.............I am sooooooo........stoked.

This brings me to my next obvious situation........and that is....I've left the Above Category Elite Racing Team of which I was the solo member. This makes me very sad, however I still greatly enjoy my occupation as a bicycle aesthetician at AC and the wonderful opportunity I have to share my love of bicycles with others. A Big thanks goes out on my behalf to Above Category for supplying a sweet Parlee TT bike, a set of Lighweight Ventoux's, Pinarello KHOB, Moots RSL, Parlee Z-5 and every other ounce of bad ass cycling gear that comes my way this season. (Chad, please review that list....hint, hint...especially the part about the Lighweights) ....Ha! Really I can't thank AC enough as none of this would be possible without their loyal support and passion for cycling. Also, I'm pretty sure, at the rate the AC junior squad is progressing there will be a new AC elite team next season..........so keep your eyes out.

The Vita-Mix

2010-11-30T20:39:00.000-08:00

I Live in California.......I can't ski here
These are my Freshies.

I'm not one to Dweeb Out, but this is one contraption that I've gotta preach.
The Vita-Mix Variable speed blender.
Best $500.00 you will ever spend...........!

I think everyone would agree that fruits and vegetables are insanely beneficial. The vital nutrients they contain help ensure us a long, healthy, and prosperous life....
If you don't feel that way...go hang out at the feed lot with all your fast food friends and piss off! Or....get inspired and educate yourself!
If you like it fresh......consider throwing...4 large kale leaves, 1 banana, a handful of peach slices, a bunch of raspberries, two large cave man size handfuls of spinach, some mango, a chunk of ginger, an entire apple, and some grapes......on the table in front of you.

How would you go about eating all that.?
Chewing only gets you so far.
If you ate them uncooked, individually...how much of that would just pass through your gut as fiber and go straight down the drain as wasted goodness and hard earned cash?
Throw it all in the Vita-Mix and you'll get a pretty sweet raw green smoothie that tastes better than half the expensive shit that's been stagnantly rotting on the shelf at Whole Foods.
Better yet, its blended smoother than Yo pimp daddy peacock and goes down with all the pleasure of a freak'n milk shake, without the dairy gut bomb, gotta sit on the couch while this shit metastasizes for an eon feeling.
Get your moneys worth.........and get a Vita Mix.........If you feel the need to pack away food for end of the world, couple it with a dehydrator and seal that shit up for future consumption.
Also makes tree limbs into wood chips....just say'n.
stay fresh.

untitled

2010-11-30T20:33:00.000-08:00

Good Feelings.....Alpine Dam and my Pegoretti on a sweet late November afternoon.

Californina Farmers Market ...gotta love it.

2010-11-21T15:32:00.000-08:00

How sweet is this?
November freshness.........
Kale, peppers, Dates, Serrano's, tomatoes three different kinds, spring mix, potatoes, shit ton of grapes, green been sprouts, Basil, onions, and apples.

And a green juice/smoothie....compliments of the Vita-Mix blender.
Kale, spinach, broccoli, green grapes, frozen strawberries, pomegranate seeds, lemon, apple, and pear......all in this glass......no freak'n waste.!
Throw away the corporate vitamins!
Alive and Raw.

Day 1 of Season 3 starts tomorrow

2010-10-24T20:40:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been embracing the introvert within myself.
Haven't clipped in for a month
talk about withdrawals
got sick 3 days after I hung it up and lasted 2 1/2 weeks
Coughed up a lung and then some.
Time to put the wheels in motion.
And feel human again.
Escape the mundane, wasteful, consumeristic, mind numbing bull-shit that surrounds me.
and just pedal my bike
more to come
someday.

Mt Tam hill climb

2010-09-19T12:09:00.000-07:00

The only local race of the year and what a better way to arrive at the start line than by riding your own bicycle. At 7:00 am I rendezvoused at Peets in Mill Valley with Spence and Alex from the AC junior team.
45 min and '1500 of climbing later.....the three of us pull off at the pantol ranger station on the shoulder of Mt Tamalpais, contemplating the slew of automobiles driving by with cycles and passengers warm and toasty inside. Moments later we dove into the redwoods and carved the drizzly, rain soaked, descent to the coast.

I arrived at the Stinson Beach registration soaking wet....White socks blackened with road grime, toes swimming in shoes masquerading as aquatic sanctuaries, bikes that want to be boats and two junior racers looking like they just swam out of the ocean with their bikes.
So Began the ill timed cool down as I headed toward the start line.
Through chattering teeth I heard the whistle blow, and we were off, but all I could think about was my bladder about to burst and how warm it would be if I just pissed myself. I was planning on peeing off the bike, but by the time I was warm enough to do so, we were at the base of the climb and I was fish tailing across the cattle guard trying to keep it upright. I guess no urinating for me.
The bottom of Bo-Fax is a steep twisty kick in the face. I ride it a lot and these guys don't...so when they hit it at 500 watts I was just fine letting myself dangle off the back. About 6 min later the entire field simultaneously imploded and dropped off the face of the planet, leaving only six of us still able to ride a decent tempo...out of which I was last.....The two leaders were about 20 meters ahead and pulling away gradually.... Behind them were three riders, the heaviest being maybe 140 lbs and that was before his pre-ride morning 3lb miracle plastic porta john-weigh loss program, were attacking each other while I rode steady. I was gaining ground biding my time, waiting for one of them to crack. When one of them fell off the pace...I picked it up, and by the time we crested the 6km climb to the ridge I was hot on his heels only about 3 seconds back....then he had a mechanical or forgot how to shift. ...... poor timing, but hey Ive been there myself on more than one occasion this season and it sucks. That was pretty much the end of him as I was sure to keep chasing the riders in front of me....

The chase was on but with visibility low and legs whimpering...I fell into the trap of having no one to push me but, well.......me! It ended up being a lonely and painful ride for fifth, up and over the sisters, into the mist...Pretty sure I was going fast.....but Its hard to chase people you can't see...I ended up losing a little over a minute to the winner and a lot less to the rest.
Congrats to Jesse Moore, of Cal Giant, on the win.............super ride.
Thanks to Chad at Above Category for letting me rock the Moots RSL and Lightweight Ventoux's. The Moots was an obviously choice for my 168 lb mountain ape figure to bash on while still remaining the most supple and comfortable bike on the planet up the rough and tumble famed B0-Fax climb. This sub 15lb masterpiece is constructed entirely out of earthly metal and as far from China's resin filled cookie cutter molds as you can imagine...It comes in any color you like and looks best nude.
And thanks for the sweet photos.....Anthony Little gets the photo credits.

The AC Juniors represented as well, I think they all had top 10 finishes in their respective categories.
Spence
Jack
Alex
Skyler
Bjorn

test blog

2010-09-15T07:54:00.001-07:00

I'm just testing this blogger....crap out.
for the last two months, I have not been able to post.
either I was too smoked from work and racing
or
my computer was being eat'n from the inside out by a self cannibalizing virus.
the girlfriend must have been looking at to much porn....er...something.
or
I was climbing out of my truck window after being locked inside when all the door handles simultaneously quit working....for real.
or
I was to busy bumming rides to races, cause my old rig was beyond my comfort zone for driving on the freeway.......and I don't need much.
but mostly
Every time I tried to log into, or post on my account this disposable HP dv2000 computer would freeze.
How's that for an excuse?

Seriously.

Or, ya know, maybe I was taking my time scraping my ass off the pavement after getting tag teamed by the entire Yahoo cycling team....I beleive they keyed into me as the perfect launchpad before I became aware of it...

Any rate I've got a bunch of pics and race reports from cal cup that I need to post soon......
should provide some form of entertainment in the off season

cheers.

Elite Nationals, Bend OR, 2010

2010-07-12T12:52:00.000-07:00

A first time experience for me.....I had no Idea what to expect.....going head to head with what is supposed to be the best amateurs in the country.......Here are few photos from the TT....and road race........I ended up 12th in each........about 31 seconds off the podium in the TT, and 4 seconds in the road race.......Next year I know what to expect and will have much higher expectations.......should be fun.

Crushing the last bit to the finish......Dumbo helmet in the not so aero position ...that's my 30 second man behind me......we battled the entire 35k for position leap frogg'n each other and...passing 3 or 4 guys in front of us...This jerk pushed me to my limit......and I scored a pretty darn good time because of it...I was really hating him by the end...We gave each other a big pat on the back...!

The top of the climb up Archie Briggs road........a steep 3-4 min power climb that we scaled 6 times over 100 miles of racing.

Entering one of Bends many awesome round-a-bouts...

The finish was a tough one.....I chased down a move with 3k to go.....and then got counter attacked by the eventual 3rd and 4th place finishers.....Blew it big.....and then pulled the 5th place guy to the line...He proceeded to torch me in the sprint....awesome...

That would be me on the far left.....by the barriers...just plain blew it....!!!!!!!!

Fill'n N the blanks

2010-07-12T12:08:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update since I left everyone, well at least...(all two of my followers) hanging after Elkhorn....

Quite a rainy day in the saddle......about 75 miles into the race.....this is all that remains...except for a group of 6 riders about 2 min up the road.....Jesse Moore played the role of Crazy Horse, giving up his overall and pulling the break back to within a few minutes mostly by himself............then the rest off us raced our wet spandex to the top fo Dooley Mt......about a 2000' climb..mostly 5-6%, beautiful and in the trees......I blew a gasket with about 3 k to go......and came in seventh........Thanks Mom for the warm hug.!

coincidentally I ended up 7th on GC....for my efforts I was awarded a $100.00 bill.......don't I look stoked!

Not a great way to make a living......this would help subsidize my greedy portion of our planets dwindling liquid dinosaurs supply....and a scarce amount of food on the way to nationals immediately after the stage........ !

Check out the winner of the stage, 90lb Chris Hong, made us look like a bunch of Apes....... He put almost 5 min into us on the last climb...and swept the GC.
Before heading to Bend I made sure to tank up on the free locally brewed beer and pizza. The volunteers put out a huge effort to make the rainy, cold, 40' finish a sweet place to be. Always a fun stage race........most likely I'll be back next year...!

Elkhorn Day 2

2010-06-22T12:50:00.000-07:00

10:52:30......start time for an 11mile time trial.
Pretty straight forward out and back....tailwind out....headwind back...
Finishing downtown after snaking through a residential area...

Dumbo helmet heading for the finish in downton Baker

After taking 3rd at the NorCal state tt championships....and having two guys that whupped me in Cali line up next to me here at the Elkhorn.....I knew I was fighting for 3rd at best.

NorCal state championships 40k tt

Always foaming at the mouth ready to play the hungry rabid underdog.....I threw down my best effort and ended up a sort of disappointing 9th....Jesse Moore and Chris Lyman put about 24 and 44 seconds respectively into me. Two sleepers stole the show, and the rest of us in the top 10 were within seconds.
Going into the Crit I was down 50 seconds on GC and in 7th place.

After a quick catching up with my old Jackson Hole friends between stages, then a few wheel bearing adjustments and derailleur tweaks .....I was taking a short nap back at our rural mountain retreat..Actually somewhere in there I found time to eat a gel, a Hot dog, and Thai rice bowl..not necessarily in that order....
I awoke at 5pm.... just as I was starting to fall asleep......go figure.
I made a coffee...ate some banana bread...a few cookies, threw my feet up, then calmly watched as the sky darkened and puked gravel sized hail for 15 minutes....

View outside our lodging 1 hour before start time

It cleared 6 minutes later and stayed that way as I cruised into town for our 6:40 pm crit start.

Now, I'm not one to play it conservative...so as the whistle blew and the riders took off I jumped straight to the front of the group....at the start of the second lap a bunch of guys forgot how to ride their bikes and slid like slippery fish across the concrete. Tires blew, exploding like gun shots, and carbon snapped as it ground its way to a halt....Guess it was still a little wet in spots. Riders were cowering in the unpredictable conditions. Eighty Lycra clad timid racers were spread single file across the course trying to figure it out how to ride their bikes or catch up, or who knows what. They definitely were not paying close enough attention... I decided to take advantage and kick it up a notch. See what happened..stretched it out even more...maybe snap it and take a select group with me

Off the front with a sack-less group of wheel magnets

Nope...I stayed off alone while the only team of 8 (Team Exergy) massed at the front and brought me back....I managed to score two $20 gift certificates in the process...and then latched on to the counter attack for a few more rounds....but it eventually came back also.
The rest of the crit was pretty slow....almost to slow...sort of got fast the last 5 laps..I waited to long to get into position and ran out of road......came in 10th...super exciting...that would have been an easy one had I been 5 more spots up in the line.
Surprisingly there were time gaps and I came away with for the most part a 10 second time bonus...The main GC leader also managed to lose 5 min. This would put me at the start of the 102 mile Dooley Mt road race in 6 place...34 seconds down.
Put the gift certificate to good use on a mushroom BBQ burger and fries...
The double day over. It was time to head back to the pad and pack it up....No late check out...so everything has to go to the start line...8:20 am sharp..
Lucky for me I was in bed at 12:15 am....then up at 6:oo am......ready to hit it like an 85 year old porn star that ran out of Viagra 10 years ago.

"Jesse....you should seriously consider getting yourself a pair of Assos bibs"

2010-06-21T14:33:00.000-07:00

Back in Baker City OR, for the Elkhorn Classic.....for what must be my 5th year of attendance.
I love this little town, and the sweet little stage race that lies nestled between the Wallowa and Elkhorn mountain ranges,. Being here reminds me of my little house in Teton Valley....The mountains..I want to climb them all and run along the ridge lines from peak to peak bounding from boulder to boulder, free as the wind away from the gravity of life below....wait....did I say run....oops....this is a bike race...sorry....getting carried away.
Lots of snow in the mountains still....I could probably still go skiing....Ok...OK!

On with it.

If your curious about the profile check here www.elkhornclassic.com
The courses are challenging and beautiful...and the support from the people and business's of Baker are second to none.....I look forward to it every year. Over the last 5 years, mother earths cerebral weather station has thrown everything from brilliant blue to impending strike you dead lightning doom. Then for a complimentary garnish spewed a scorching dose of heat exhaustion and brain freezing snow for good measure. This year had a dash of everything including marble sized hail.

Stage one was under almost perfect conditions. Felt pretty rusty, this being my first road race in over a month...lets just say by the end I was happy to make it over the power climbs and super rollers and hold good position for the sprint....It was no surprise when I uncorked my fast twitch kick yourself in the balls drop dead sprint skills that my legs froze. First locked in the extended position and then ratcheted back, stuck in the compressed ready to pounce pose.
I was pounding on the pedals like a rusty tin man binding at one extreme of the pedal stoke and then lunging with all my might only to bind again at the other........It was a case of "Fast Twitch Miss Fire" not pretty but I managed to hang on for on for 7th...

Saturday would prove to be a fun day...with a time trial in the morning and criterium in the afternoon.

report to come.

view from outside our rural rental

Sort of have a lack of pictures from stage 1

try to post some tt and crit stuff soon.

I'll keep ya all waiting for the overall results.

Never Die

2010-06-01T23:37:00.000-07:00

Waking up in the desert.....
A vintage bungalow retreat.

This is where you sleep..after a 5 hour race against some of the worlds baddest bad ass's and a 8 hour drive...pull over throw everything out the back...climb inside and sleep.

In the morning find the nearest starbucks...fill up and drive 10 more hours...home.

sweet....

And keep your fingers crossed that the bearing doesn't go out in the transfer case....lie to yourself that its going to be just fine even though it leaked 2 quarts of gear oil...in the past week.

more sweet..

Its been a month and I'm still driving it..

just can't let go.

full of _ _ I T

2010-05-06T22:54:00.000-07:00

The best biceps jersey goes to Kris Lunning stage one Tour of The Gila

Previously, at Sea Otter, I received the best Triceps Jersey.

FUll of It.

Thanks

2010-05-01T09:05:00.000-07:00

This is Henry.....my biggest fan....and new captain of the ACR Toddler, ride before I can walk program.
He does 6.2 watts/Kg with his heart crushing smile.
Keep it up Henry!

Thanks to everyone cheering me on and offering support.
I hear people all over the course shouting at me, wait a minute, UH?.... what did I do this time.?...just kid'n..... Thanks it keeps me stoked for sure.
And of course thanks to all of you that are checking in daily, I hope I'm providing at least a meager source of entertainment.

Thanks.

Looking forward to the crit this afternoon.
And tomorrows Gila Monster Road Race.
My goal is to make it over the first big climb with the leaders.
and hang on for dear life up the next two ginormous climbs.
almost '10,000 in the last 30 miles of this 105 mile epic.
I should probably take it easy in the crit today.....but I'm here to have fun...so we'll see
Snow is forecast for tomorrow.

Sunday

Partly cloudy with a 20 percent chance of rain showers...thunderstorms and snow showers. Windy...warmer. Highs in the 60s. West winds 15 to 20 mph increasing to 20 to 30 mph in the afternoon.

Sweet.

Gila stage 3......the rae of cold truth.

2010-04-30T17:30:00.000-07:00

Today's sweet ride.

And the dirt-bag that rode it.
Notice the not so above Category upside down AC.
Sorry Chad.

The 56 tooth chainring was spun out on the descent today
and the tail wind allowed me to use the 56x23 on the 4 mile climb
that's ripp'n fast....
I heard rumors of 58's being used.

Roman?...Dude?.....don't you know Kuota's are for tri geeks.!
Waiting in line to get our bike's checked.
Everybody was eyeballing the Parlee.

Getting the Parlee weighed after placing our bikes on a rickety metal stand that is held together with wing-nuts and blowing over in the wind. Obviously a very scientific UCI measuring device.

This is called the morph test and if your bike is outside of the rickety measuring device a referee cups his palm on your ass, that's what it looks like anyway, and then they measure the angle of your arm at the elbow.....I passed, but that is for sure an awkward looking shot.

Hello
We are from the galaxy aero
check out our dumbo helmets.

In the start house.

The final 50 meters....OUCH!

After 16 miles of self inflicted torture.
The finish line is a beautiful thing.

Finally a pain free moment.

Chill'n with my mom after the race.....
Literally chill'n...it was 26 degrees this morning....and windy.

my time was about 10 seconds faster than last year.....but everyone else's was about 2-3 min slower........so I guess that means my muscles are bigger and badder then ever.

The big boys like Levi,Lance, and Zabriskie still put the better part of 3 min into me.
Bastards.....
I ended up 47th, at 1:47 behind lance...not bad for a measuring stick...I'm actually stoked...all things considered...
Beat a few people I thought would be up there and ended up moving into 73rd place in the general classifications.
Every day I get a little better, or maybe I just get worse... at a slower rate then the other 92 riders behind me in GC.

Floyd Landis..whats up with the sleeve's

Lance looking a bit meaner than Landis
how about a matching helmet?
Actually looking forward to tomorrows criterium.

Tour of the gila stage 2

2010-04-29T15:41:00.000-07:00

Today, the moto Ref, who is actually staying two doors down from me at the B&B, was blown off the moto..no shit...he has road rash..60mph gusts..shingles were being blown off roof tops.
What an amazing experience.....but glad to be finished with this stage

I thought yesterday was tough.
Today I sold my soul to make it over the first climb and catch back on the descent.
Rough, considering last year I lead the entire peloton down this section.
And it just got harder, and harder, and harder...
40-60 mph winds...
I was popped out the back almost 6 times and left dangling behind the team cars.
Don't know how I did it but I eventualy got back on by the last climb and survived for the bunch finish. I think I lost 30 seconds.
I'm tanked
if you want a real race report
look here.
http://velonews.competitor.com/2010/04/news/amaran-wins-sram-tour-of-the-gila-stage-2-leipheimer-second_113709

Bridging the gap to the lead group on the pinos altos climb...OUCH!

BTW
The BMC with edge 2.0 fork is amazing.
check out this wind!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kN8OmWW-l3o&feature=player_embedded

Tour of the gila stage 1

2010-04-28T21:18:00.001-07:00

No pics yet........I will try and do a recap later............

This race is special to me, it's kinda where it all started 6 years ago in the cat 3's.....Its where cycling sunk its addicting dagger into my aging carcass.
Still chasing the dream...and still dreaming...
life is but a dream.
If you asked me 6 years ago If I ever thought I would race against the likes of Lance Armstrong, Levi Leiphiemer, Dave Zabriske, and Floyd Landis all stage winners of the tour DE France, and all these other amazing athletes....I would have told you to go blow yourself.
Well. I'm doing it.......and I'm having fun......I'm here on my own dime. I work almost full time
I even have chickens.
The experience of competing at this level is something money can never buy me.
Today was F-ing Hard.
I felt good for 75 miles but had a hard time holding position in the crosswind.
I think like 70 people dropped out or were time cut.
I was happy to stay with the main pack....but the work I had to do to stay out of the gutter and not get shelled took its toll, coupled with the altitude, I tanked pretty bad on the last climb
a '2794 climb with grades up to 17%
I managed to hang with Taylor Phinney, and cross the line for 103rd place out of 194.
9min back
I guess no one will give a shit when I get in a break tomorrow....suckers.
Stage win for me.
until next time.
Oh yeah, Lance is F-ing ripped....Muscles made of rope....you can see the individual fibers through his skin....
I made him look a my ass for a while....riding at or near the front though the feedzone while the field was struuuuuung out....
fun stuff.

chow-chilla.

2010-04-11T12:57:00.000-07:00

With a bone chilling ancient creek, similar to that of fingernails drug slowly across a chalkboard, I thrust my rusty door into the wind and then thrust my body out into the rain. The bombardment of pounding precipitation feels like I'm being spat on while running at mach speed down a hallway lined with pissed off jeering "Lunner Haters," Now imagine these so called, Lunner Haters, have conspired to place a jet engine at the end of this never ending hallway. Whirling madly, the gigantic turbines rip like a frigidly cold ass-hole, if such a thing exists, stagnating my progress. This in turn allows the jeering crowd ample time to aim and propel their viciously malignant saliva at my face. Yet still, I lurch forward with a stubborn yet purposeful step because I signed up for this....and although I'm cold and saturated from the taunting sky, I take a moment to revel in the magic of bicycle racing and the madness that is about to take place.

Actually this is just the ride to registration from the field I parked in a mile away. It is the back drop. A beautiful damp ether of which to engage the Spring Hill Road Race. I managed to park after getting my truck out of the ditch that the guy with the orange flag directed me to turn aound in...Turns out...that 12 inch tall grass that everyone else parked in was actualy about 3 feet tall and growing out of the bottom of a muddy culvert. Catastrophe avoided through the use of a 23 year old 4-wheel drive toyota, I mount my bike and stroll towards the registration tent. Along the way I Pleasantly collect raindrops in my absorbent cotton jeans and tennis shoes. After this pleasant foray......I pin my number onto my jersey, assemble my food and jump back on my Pegoretti racing just to get to the start line in time. Welcome to Nor-Cal Pro-Am racing at its finest. Riders ready....and were off.
The days activities include four, 22 mile laps, on an always undulating course with poor to bad pavement. A California classic indeed. The conditions are as salubriously described earlier. Riding in the pack is dangerous and unpleasant. Banging into each other as we jockey for position we are pressure washed in the face by the rooster tails coming off the riders wheel in front of us...This is no place to be. So the games begin and I meander into almost every break attempt of the day and finally succeed in getting in a well represented group for the first lap. I'm pleased with my break mates. Good selections and I feel confident going into the finish line against them. The going is easy as we all take turns for a while. Then we're caught. Yippee.........lets start the process over again. I actually hate this process and being an ex-DH mountain biker and over confident descender I follow a small group over the next climb and gas it on the ensuing descent. Bingo....next break and I'm in it.

The rest is history.....and I'm not going to do the play by play.....lets just say I'm not a tactician......more of a straight shooter, I like to break souls and engage in the moment of craziness that is always present in cycing. Sometimes I get lucky......I always have fun. Today I broke a few souls.....including my own. Mission accomplished. See ya next time......the rest of entry is dedicated to anyone who has done the following.............

This spirit braking perpetual precipitation has become an extension of my skin. Together we have united in a symbiotic fashion, but after sixty two miles of epic racing I have pulled my own plug. No fire left, my matches smoldering, I resign to the task of returning to my truck. In the process I try to down shift with my left thumb, but it buckles from the cold like a broken toothpick and I am forced to shift with the palm of my hand. Awesome....! Then I pause....... In relief and realization I stand tall on my pedals. Bracing my upper body under locked out elbows I observe my beautiful surroundings. Then closing my eyes I prepare myself....this is about to be them most satisfying moment of the day.........Like warm sunshine, I embrace the heat rushing down my inner thigh, caressing and curling around my calf muscle and filling my shoe with ebullient festive warmth. My toes dance too the music of this truly bio dynamic function. I just pissed myself....and on the way back to my truck I proceed to do it three more times thoroughly enjoying every moment off it. Its the little things that count......

OK.........I didn't want to delete this so here is a little more mumbo jumbo.
My thoughts peruse the days events as I cruise the eight or so miles back to my 87, 4-runner. DNF.....(did not finish) will be stamped after my name on the results. Along with half the field. For a moment I am not to happy, but then the hell with it. "Off the front, or out the back.......I hate fo finish in the fucking pack." I then feel good about myself once more. Out numbered, I am the only member of my Above Category Racing team, racing this season. I would have to say the first 42 odd, um,? even miles were some of the most aggressive racing I ever done. Up against a full squad of Cal-Giant, (Cal-Gina's), and Yahoo's( Yea-A-Hoot to race with) I find it quite satisfying that I split the field and narrowed it down to 3 yahoos and 2 Gina's all on my own.....Come to think of it....I eventually whittled it down even further with my next solo foray off the front....spitting the only supporting cal gina out the back as his strong teamate made him chase chase me down.
I realize it is all tactics and in retrospect Jesse Moore and Tyler Dibble, the eventual first and second place, were just keeping track of each other and I was a pawn in the game.

Watts the deal.

2010-03-22T21:32:00.000-07:00

Watts divided by time.

Watts divided by kilograms.

Watts at Cadence multiplied by time.

Watts

Watts

Watts.

Watt have I become?

This chicken has been genetically modified to cook itself..............$$$$

Hopes this is the fix you so dearly desire.........Ian.

I actually race my bike...but this is an irrelevant picture of a former chicken of mine.

until next time......

Hope your as confused as I am.

2010-02-11T08:18:00.000-08:00

The picture on the right is about 5 years old.....I was a cat 3...in Jackson Hole, WY...raced like 6 time a year and couldn't start my season
until April or may and that was usually in the snow and peppered with weekly climbing and skiing trips.....the pic below is from a from a year ago.....I now live in Marin Ca, train 5 days a week... year round. I've gone from a do it all 180 lb, climbing, skiing, biking, carpenter bum. to a lean 165lb Lycra clad stick figure.........My body has been completely changed. I wear pants with a wast size of 31 instead of 33 or 34...I've added new holes to my belt....and my old tight shirts that I was notorious for wearing hang off of me......I have no face or ass..............and the thought of climbing rocks and mountains scares the shit out of me........

I feel like a different person with vivid flashbacks of a previous life when I used to run up and down mountains like this all day with nothing but a man purse,(an almost uselessly small pack that can barely hold a water bottle, sticky climbing shoes, windbreaker, and cliff bars). I sure miss it..........but can't imagine what it would be like to jump back into that life.....forward and onward for now.....the bike is where I belong in this moment. Have to save these images for my dreams.

Cherrie Pie 2010 the second time around

2010-02-07T22:54:00.000-08:00

A new season is finally under way. New teams, same faces, different jerseys. Its interesting trying to figure out who is who....and on what team....but I'll tell you what.
The team to pay attention to seems to be Yahoo Cycling. They have some strong individuals. However, their real strength lies in two areas, shear numbers and the wisdom of X-Olympians/professionals....this will be a team that is going to be very competitive all year. I think Cal-Giant has finally been knocked off of their pedestal and has been sent hurtling backwards trying to get a grip on things..........Me, well, I'm looking forward to being the underdog......its a ton of fun.

Here's how it went down.
The Pace was brisk from the gun, and moving around was way easy. I followed Andrew Talansky and a Yahoo rider with the first move....After that was brought back...I chilled for a bit and when the next combo of cal giant and yahoo went up the road I easily latched on.....Each attempt was brought back, however, which is probably a given since we were only ten laps in.
I don't remember exactly, but about 20 min into this 60 min race I dug super deep, trying hard to sell something that looked as thought it was going to stick. Well I think I was the big fish taking the bait and I blew up pretty hard. Hard enough to miss out on the next move with included 5 yahoo riders and a member or two of every other team worth a shit. Bummer....that was the race.
The rest of the time we played a game of burn your matches and be a rabbit....While all the Fox's were up the road. Riders kept digging deep trying to make it across solo......but yahoo kept a leash on everything.

Yahoo keeping me under control....or contained ..whatever you want to call it.

I had only one teammate at this race, Eric Ficher. He's the CA U-23 state champ and this was my first time racing with him. Eric surprised me with his heads up racing and I'm excited to race with him in the future. One moment that makes me happier than anything, was seeing Eric following a cal giant rider up to my wheel after I put in a huge effort to get away and bridge up to the leaders. To me this is heads up racing...we had two teammates and no yahoo's in it. The only problem is that I have no throttle control and hit the gas a bit hard for too long, opening up a gap that required a lot of effort for Eric and cal giant to cross...by the time they made it up to me we were all pretty cooked and only stayed away for a lap and a half. My bad...for sure, I should have let up or let off as soon as I had the gap or not jumped so hard since It wasn't my intent to go it alone.. Still learning my own strengths and it can be a fine line......you don't allways have to give the biggest effort you have. Any rate it was a fun season opener and I consider this on the job training......I'm learning quick....and I'm glad to have a teammate thats keying in to an aggressive style of racing.
In the end I took a top 10 in the field sprint, and Eric finished safely in the pack.
I'm very happy with my form and felt like I could move around easily in the bunch. This makes me very excited for the later part of the season.
Especially The Gila, Elkhorn Classic, and Nationals.
Cheers.

P.S,
I LOVE MY PEGORETTI
Its by far the best bike on the planet.
and I raced it with clinchers.

Who needs Cliff bars?

2010-01-31T17:24:00.001-08:00

Eat like a horse
A trio of beets
A bunch of carrots
Raw cheese

In chronologic order

2010-01-27T21:48:00.000-08:00

Bang.......! Stomach Bug..... 11 days on and off, hot and cold. Nausea, head spinning like a drunken dope on PMS.....luckily no puking.. My usually voracious appetite turned into meager helpings of Kombucha and toast....I completely lost my appetite..even water would make me want to puke..... which I guess is a great way to lose 5 lbs....but shit....Now my pants don't fit.

4 days after the nausea bug...
I Crash on a training ride with some friends....launching myself across the pavement without my bike......the Lycra from my shorts melted, smoldering like fresh roadkill, drug across chip-sealed gravel and skidded upon until it became one with my skin. I ended up sliding over 25' on my left hip and elbow....Thankfully the road was cut into the side of a hill and the brutally abrasive slide was brought to a halt as I barreled into it.

Two days later my 23 year old Toyota decides to go into a coma or maybe it just left on an acid trip...wherever it is I hope it feels euphoric and comes back soon.
The outcome is pending.

I should have known some funk was up when the rain came.
The day the first drop plummeted from the sky, was the first day I felt sick.
and then the rain continued.........
.
Sick, broken, and car-less..no money either...but that's typical.

Well at the very least I can't fall behind on training, so I'm up at 6am...on my bike by 7ish...home at 11:00 and like an anorexic penguin tearing my soaking wet clothes off slumbering into the shower. This is when I do my laundry and hand wash my cycling clothing......and defrost my toes.
After the shower comes the time where I'm supposed to take a nap, eat some food, rest and recover a bit.
No! You Dink...remember I have no money.
This is were I put my Lycra back on, throw some dry clothes in a backpack, and ride to work in the rain like an Idiot.
This process more or less repeats itself for a week....
I'm Hammered after just a few days of this...If you though I was a ray of sunshine, you should see me now.
Then just around Victoria's birthday, things start to look a little on the up.
We stay the night in a secluded Bed and Breakfast in Invernes. In the morning we have an awesome breakfast....and get an amazing 4 hour weather window between storm systems. We take advantage checking out the huge waves and watch the ocean rage in the sunshine along the beach. Then pack our shit and hit it so I'm too work by 2pm...I've arranged to be in 2 hours late...
As soon as I get back to Mill Valley, I smash Victoria's borrowed car into the curb tearing a hole in the side of the one tire she bought last week. Yep, just one.....go figure....well she had a spare....but no jack...no wrench for the lug nuts...fuck!....I had to improvise and guess what?.....It started raining again within minutes of mounting the tire.....and just kept on raining...fucking rain....punch yourself in the face!

The next night while toasting some bread in our toaster oven...the damn thing caught fire and burst into flames...I opened the door and the flames lunged out at my face....so I slammed it shut..unplugged it...picked it up by the handles...and launched it outside..
Three minutes later my landlord calls......just a coincidence, turns out that he hit his head on a metal cabinet and tore a flap of skin off his head..........so I'm
over there picking through crusty blood and hair trying to assess the damage for him....He was OK...but that was not what I had in mind for desert.
Meanwhile, my house smells like a pack of Marb's...and for the next 4 days I smell like a chain smoker...Victoria gets sick and pukes her brains out.....I play frozen anorexic penguin on my bike mostly only getting in partial rides and sleeping in a hole of anxiety about my health, dieing truck, lack of training...and life as a bike racer.........UH.
Could be worse...

Well, that was a nice reality check....Love being an auto dependent consumerist American....Life is great when if revolves only around You. Jerk. Yea I'm talking about me........and the rest of us.
Well
Now it's finally quit raining and my training is back on track.....along with my motivation...hopefully my truck comes back to life and I can conginue to burn dead dino's following through with my commitment as a loyal American to speed up the global warming process...

I'd like to give a great thanks to everyone that helped me out and listened to me gripe....Thanks for the rides home from work they were a life saver, (thanks Woody)......And thanks for not firing me after coming into work late almost every day, (Chad).
And to everyone else.......get out and enjoy the SUN......every chance you get...you never know when It may start raining..
Also get a Fender.....at least you'll have a dry ass.

Road Rash

2010-01-10T22:24:00.000-08:00

I hate when this happens...

Back on it.

2010-01-10T08:18:00.000-08:00

Plugged back in.........Comcast has me by the balls with the typical corporate monopoly shit, I don't like to support these lamo's..........but that's my only option at my place, I'm just as bad as they are.......sweet. Should I start revolution? Nah.......I'm going riding..........I'm sure one day, as history repeats itself, the large Apes will fall under their own scandalous footing. Until then.

Happy F-ing New year.

This is Mt Albright in Jackson Hole, WY......She was a daily choice for skinning in the Tetons. Great snow, challenging terrain, and amazing views.
This is where we would go when we wanted a relatively safe alpine experience and 4000' in one shot.
For seven years I skied this peak...sometimes solo.....sometimes with good friends.
And
From Day one as a young and naive adventurist......my gracious mentors warned me of
its looming potential.
Glad to be riding my bike and not dead under the debris from the recent
avalanche activity.
Hope my friends are playing it safe. enough.

lame excuse.....

2009-12-16T20:07:00.000-08:00

I have no internet.......No blogging for a bit.......sorry! Who reads this jargon any rate!

Soon.......promise

Bacon

todays ride

2009-11-23T22:39:00.000-08:00

3 hours @ an average of 264 watts..........
including 2...... 45min tempo intervals at 301 and 306 watts respectively......
this is insane considering last year I was struggling to finish just one 45min session let alone two...........
today was amazingly easy, and fun......
and its great to see and feel the value of a complete year of racing and training.
Its the first time ever that I've been able to ride year round.........and I think the watts speak for themselves..............

Words of wisdom for anyone wanting to race a bike for a living, from someone who has always learned by taking the scenic route.........
First of all, learn to be comfortable being broke, and second, move somewhere that you can ride year round, third get a coach and I'll tell ya the rest when I figure it out...
so at the very least
Have fun doing it,
It may turn out the journey is more fun than actually b...ing pro.

Good luck

current events

2009-11-13T20:56:00.000-08:00

This is my SRM power control V........I prefer to call it the "almost pro" meter.........or "little box of pain and suffering" at any rate I just got the little money sucking zone keeping machine back from its yearly service..........315.00 later it has fresh batteries and a new LCD display, the finest calibration, and is ready to inflict its insidious torture starting bright and early tomorrow morning.........ooooh yeeeaaahhhh............. I'm so excited...........read that like E-Or from whinny the pooh and you'll understand how I feel.

Now here is something to get excited about...
Its not your typical XC or enduro racing machine
This bike is about fun
and that's that.

Pink Hydraulic lines............awesome.

26lbs of heavy weight fun.

I am amazed at the predictable drifting this bike possesses.....A good friend told me it was like surfing "the POW" in the big mountains.......and I would have to agree.........."who needs traction when you can surf?".............. and since
I can't ski this winter............ You better bet your balls I'm going to surf the dirt on my MOOTS.

a nice day and tired legs

2009-10-30T22:44:00.000-07:00

Good morning!

Lets go for a ride.....

Up panoramic highway......

And down to Stinson Beach

Keep riding along the lagoon

Check out the ocean view from Bolinas

Now lets get going...don't want to be late for work...again!

Up the beautiful but bumpy-ass bolinas fairfax climb.

almost to the top...

Another couple miles along ridgecrest and I'll top out at 2000'

Then I'd better blast the descent, because I'm gonna be late.....

GOOD DAY!

Organic bacon

2009-10-27T21:36:00.001-07:00

This blog is turning into homework..........If only I could wright while pedaling I'd be able to post a kaleidoscope of blogs everyday....any rate as you can see I've changed the name of my blog...........don't ask why, ya know, maybe I just felt like it. Hence Bio dynamic bacon is taking to root.

You might be asking what in the hell is bio dynamic bacon? Its a fancy term for the way bacon should be........from a real pig...... engineered by nature and put into action by an exuberantly spasmodic pig launching its earth sodden load into an accepting swines fallopian tube on direct orders to procreate. Bacon............. Nothing added..........nothing taken away..........the way a pig should be. What most people think of as bacon isn't even food and I wouldn't touch the stuff with a dogs asshole.........do a little research why don't you? Its your body that has to figure out what to do with it. Would you like to know where 80% of American bacon comes from? Since you most likely won't do your homework then heed my words..... If its not organic don't eat, yes even bacon and yes, especially bacon. Sucker.

Bacon and me
My friend Dana used to call everything bacon and so I adopted the term prefacing it with "eat organic." Then filled out an entry form for my first road race as a cat 5 and listed where it specified team name "team eat organic bacon." After each lap that I was leading, the commentator would announce "here comes Kris Lunning off the front racing for team...uh? eat organic bacon?" and it stuck like the gristly fat of a swines fat rack. This should clear up why I use the word bacon randomly on this blog just in case any of you thought i was a little weird...........I most likely am............and wouldn't have it any other way.

Since organic doesn't really mean shit anymore I figure I should change it to bio dynamic......Bio dynamic is for all intensive purposes the way food ought to be grown....in balance with the earth to the best knowledge that us pitifully wasteful humans are capable. In theory there is no waste of resources or energy year in and year out. The system is perpetual...and most importantly in equilibrium with us and the planet.........The food this system creates, including bacon, Is loaded with good stuff our supermarket fare is lacking and tastes out of this world. Think you know what a carrot taste like............try a bio-dynamic carrot..........after that rocks your world, try the bacon.

Tired of being a supermarket slut.........lunner.

I don't have any swine, so this is one of my hens from when I lived in Teton Valley ID. My friend Dave still tends to the flock.

2009-10-14T20:58:00.000-07:00

The smiley kiwi is at it again, and it looks like I will be breaking out the assoss and saddling up soon. Coach upton has kindly posted my training plan for the next 3 weeks, He loves to torture and..............He's fired, F-ing asshole. Kidding....just when I was getting used to sitting on my ass.

I'm ending my 4 week rest period with a week of mostly raw food, no coffee, and no refined sugars. I'm going to try and keep the refined sugars at bay for the long term but miss my coffee and will take that up immediately. Just recharging the synapses. No ill side effects yet....only day 3 but its going smooth. I find the the raw/vegan diet difficult only because there are crap options for food everywhere I look. I've concluded over the last three days eating is mostly out of boredom and for pleasure and I've been surviving just fine off simple raw foods and relatively low caloric intake.....I just crave the crappy food because its what I'm used to and I've programmed myself that way. Oh, and the smell of pizza surfing through the evening doesn't help as it burrows its savory spines into my nostrils.

Any rate I look forward to eating more crap, Its easy. Just wanted to see what it was like to do this for a week........Someone even told me I was less of a man bitch than before...go figure.

Time to ride

Update

2009-09-30T20:52:00.000-07:00

I know, I suck at updates.............not much to say.........its the off season....it started two weeks ago,

I've got two left.

Sleeping 11 hours each day

eating whatever I want

kinda boring

can't wait for base training, its amazing how strong we get from it

gelato...I haven't been eating enough! Bacon!

Everest challenge was a blast, put it on your calender, might be the most fun I've had at a race all year. close call.

half dome on the way home from bishop.

Maybe I'll feel more inspired soon.

peace

Winters road race

2009-08-29T17:32:00.000-07:00

Winters CA, its 106 degrees, maybe "winter" is actually the best season to ride your bike in this quaint and cute scorching solar heat sink ghost of a town. Arrived with ambition, rode like a warrior, made the break with six of the best nor cal amateurs, Then after putting a minute and a half on the field, my body shut down and melted like ice cream on a pile of steaming dog shit.

I was lucky because the stink of my withered and collapsed piss poor performance eventually reached my teammate chris turner who in turn, with inflamed nostrils, ripped a set of quadriceps out of his shorts and crushed the field like rotten worm infested tomatoes.

Turner took 5th

On a positive slightly vulgar note, I have reached a landmark in my progression as a cyclist this season. For perhaps the first time I raced aggressive while still managing to leave my junk in the trunk. No need to throw it all out on the table. You've seen this act before, its become a second rate dime a dozen showing for the masses. Usually I race as if it, (it being my junk), grew 2 inches a week, and I felt the need to share and compare it with everyone, well, not this time........maybe next season, when I'm slapping you all in the face.

For anyone confused by my Metaphors , I'm saying that I didn't burn all my matches in one big bang........and then hang on for sloppy seconds like I usually do.....I raced as aggressive as I needed without wasting energy and I made a smart tactical move with all the right players. Then my body said "no..........I don't want to...........Its time for the onset of heat exhaustion, dizziness, lack of power, and a slight chilling in the face of an ambient air temp of 106 degrees."

Its the end of the season. I'm not racing well. I'm tired. I've raced my heart out and drug my junk all over ca, and the western states since Feb.............These are not excuses they are facts and while being physically spanked I'm burn'n up a fire and getting ready to start putting miles in the pain bank for next season. In conclusion I've come the sad realization that my junk doesn't quite measure up. Not yet anyways, but I think the potential just needs to be realized...see you all next February............I would suggest wearing a face mask next season........to avoid being slapped by any flailing appendages.

Until then Ciao.......Oh I almost forgot.......a picture. this one has nothing to do with this post...its me rolling through the finish line after doing a days worth of work to set chris johnson up in the field sprint for 5th place. We conveniently missed the break which contained ned overend on a 13lb bike and a bunch of paid athletes from the Kelly benifit team.

empty promises

2009-08-26T21:20:00.000-07:00

Hey all..........thought I'd share a little introspective piece, here it is............... I want to make it clear that my favorite activity as of late is sitting and starring at the wall. It can be quite soothing meandering in an out of the lumpy labyrinth of latex paint and drywall spackel. Between the seams of sheet rock and joint tape my Synapses fire like lead out of a sinking barrel of goat shit. At my current capacity brain activity is as inactive as a post ejaculatory, overweight, 28 year old punk Nintendo playing male with emphysema and high blood pressure. I can't even imagine the person described above ejaculating in the first place, nor do I want to. The simple thought of aerobic activity could send such a person into cardiac arrest or cause a catastrophic explosion of their carotid artery. And the smell.......? The putrid stank of over crisped and scorched partially hydrogenated tempura, that's my brain silly, and I'm drowning in it. A sad state of being if i might say so myself. I think I may have a mild case of dementia ............and if people were concerned of my well being than they should bring me lots of beer, cookies, Pete's coffee, and Kombucha.........or send me to the coo.koo..house!

I will be dragging my melting carcass through the rest of the season and after about 4 more races I promise to get back on the blog wagon......As of late, creativity has been elusive similar to my motivation. The motivation scale in this case is predominantly leaning towards a bottle (Uh? six pack) of beer and a bag of kettle korn, a jar of peanut butter, some chocolate chips, coffee, pizza, and everything bad for me. A vision quest and a cleanse are in order for the off season.

I'll keep you updated, until then............This is my pet chicken. Behind her is the rooster. He's a real cock.

One of these is not like the other.

2009-07-30T20:18:00.000-07:00

Taco salad, and no that's not sour cream, it veganaise. Veganaise is like non disgusting mayonnaise. Its made from cold pressed grapeseed oil...........Try it....its no foo foo...creamy and tasty goodness.

Homeade blueberry scones.............Killer..........I made them myself...........with walnuts......can you believe that........good before, during, and after a ride.

Pink assos six day kit...........priceless.

Back to real life

2009-06-25T06:50:00.000-07:00

I'm sure your all tired of looking at my ass in assos....What follows is about all I could manage in this run down, abused bike racers state of mind.

I had the good intention of posting this about two weeks ago after returning from the Elkhorn Classic, a fun little stage race in the hidden gem of a mountain town called, Baker City. However, I've been a bit blah, expired, flat, deflated, basically combine all that in a blender and drink it with straw extracted from the trash receptacle of your local waffle house. Don't have a waffle house? Well, if your ever traveling through Arizona in the twilight hours, sleep deprived and craving the nastiest resemblance to food that could possible be concocted, then the waffle house is your place. Oh, I forgot to tell you "keep a soft spot in your heart for that sweet little 65 year old meth head," she's missing most of her front teeth. The remaining teeth, clinging tenaciously to their sockets, resemble craters of the moon dripping with sulfuric acid. She actually was cute, in a very poor representation of humanity sort of way. Quite sad but if you can imagine all that, then you know how I feel.

Now that I've "been" home from the elkhorn classic for a couple weeks and I'm done trudging through the blah-ness, I have finished the chore of revising and updating this post to reflect my current state while still portraying the way I previously felt. Make sense? I didn't thinks so.......Any rateI was falling like an unripened, worm infested apple, but now that little rotten apple is being transformed into fresh pressed apple cider......In the not so distant past, when I was a falling apple I felt gravity ripping at my skin beckoning my soul into the dismal puddle of daily routine. Collecting pieces of my scattered life, like a blind man searching for fire ants, I drug my way out of the bi-polar wave that is bike racing. I know I keep jumping from past to present tense, but who cares, if its not entertaining then don't read it. The ups and downs have been about as graceful as a mad cow riding a skate board. Galloping like a four legged rocket up an imposing mountain pass, the bovine drags its voluminous balls tearing off chunks of skin and flesh as they're caught in the cracks and crevices of the rough road of life. Eventually after vicious moments of intense focus and excruciating effort a moment of weightlessness is attained. The summit......whew....I worked so hard.......concentrated and focused with all my might. In this fickle moment gravity is momentarily subdued, and consequently my skin is forever lost. Shortly after the endorphins start to fade, a peaceful reflection begins......and then.....the cow dives, nose first, picking his way down a pot hole and gravel strewn descent. Exponentially gaining speed, blind folded with one hoof tied to its tail, it shrieks as its orderly single focus mind is strewn into scattered mosaic of lost reality.

If you made it through that then maybe you have an insight as to what its like to be a cat one bike racer or maybe you just think I'm a bit strange.

In in effort to please my most diligent and faithful Reader, (I won't mention his name, however, he frequently comments on my posts), I'd like to give a big fat.....................

Bo0!ya!..........I care about the needs of each and every one of you, some more than others. I also understand some of yall are lexicographically impaired and visually inept. You have demanded more imagery of the photographic sort. From here forward I hope to satiate the thirst of your fledgling cerebral synapse's and saturate the theater of your imagination, assuaging your lacking inability to piece together the puzzles of my run on sentences. Where I fail to paint a clear picture, I hope with the most sanguine of intentions that my photographs pacify your needs.

Woody.........that little bit is dedicated with love to you.

2009-06-07T14:42:00.000-07:00

Hopefully all eyes that read this will realize I didn't take these photos with a straight face. They are meant to be Humorous and I am a little bit embarrassed, but who cares. Yes, I know I'm a dork and I'm a little vain, but the only thing serious about this post is that I love Assos. A few reasons for this post are as follows:

I wanted to express how I feel about Assos bibs.

My girlfriend is out of town...and I'm not racing today....I've drunk to much coffee.

To top it all off I was curious as to how my ass looked in my Assos shorts.

Ya know I spend a lot of time, while racing, starring at dudes asses. I'm not super thrilled about it but its sort of impossible not to when your stuck in the middle of the pel0ton fighting for position and trying to get a draft from the rider in front of you. Unless you're off the front your starring at some monkey's ass in Lycra.. On occasion I have been stuck behind completely worn out, shredded shorts. Shorts that are more transparent than the windshield of my car. At least once I've prayed that salty sweat from my helmet would drench my tainted eyes and blind me from this pro wankers exposed crack. With a little luck a touch of the tire would send me flying into the ditch where I could cleanse my cornea with gravely cow shit and swamp water. I wish I would have considered this before leaving the pristine jagged granite peaks and snowfields of my mountaineering days. Bye the way, you'all can thank me for wearing my new assos instead of the see through shorts described above. Your welcome.

....Here Is my ass in Assos...and yes in the sake of vanity...I'm flexing...... !

I've also included a frontal view for those of you interested.......I do love these shorts!

ASSOS........... If you get a pair of Assos than you will end up throwing away every other brand of bib short that you own. After your first ride you will punch yourself in the gut 42 times and curse yourself out at the top of your lungs until your voice goes horse and you pass out. Its OK! You deserve It!....How many miles have you pounded out in sub-par chamois, punishing your precious undercarriage? Saddle sores and callouses erupting one after another like road rage on you bottom. Why did you not get a pair sooner?
Eight months ago I knew nothing about Assos. I'd seen them in Velo News adds and that's about it. Most of the time there was a half naked Euro dude flexing like our famous Austrian Governor, (the terminator), while straddling an invisible bike. This did not make me want to buy Assos. For the record Assos cares nothing about trendy hype or what is cool....They walk their own path creating products that they feel are simply the best. The add makes more sense when you put this into perspective. Its a little weird and completely an Assos theme. Assos doesn't follow trends. Most of their products haven't' changed in years and are still more comfortable and last longer than anyone else's. They have a cult like following. Its like a secret club. You buy one pair of shorts and you're hooked for life.
I was given my first set of Assos shorts eight months ago. Lucky me, Chad gifted a pair of 200.00 Uno's, a jersey, arm warmers and skin web socks. I thought to myself "Chads a great and generous person ," but then after wearing the Assos bibs on my first ride, I realized He's an absolute jerk. He killed the days of cheap shorts. I will now have to refinance my house to buy more shorts......I've been totally happy riding poorly constructed $100.00 or less bibs for the entirety of my life on two wheels. Once when I was a bit younger I went on a bike tour traveling 4000 miles in four months toting a pile of steaming youthful ignorance garnished with a orange safety flag and a single pair of non chamois shorts, commando style. What was I thinking? Ouch, ignorance is bliss, but Assos make sense.
I don't know how many miles I've put on my first pair of bibs. I expect it to be in the ball park of 2400 miles, or about 141 hours of use in 8 months. Most shorts only last me about 6 months on a program of about 100- 125 miles per week per short after which they are garbage. You know the see through ass crack style.. My old pair of assos, after 8 months in the rain, sun, mud, and sea salt laden ocean mist have lost a little shine but only compared to my newest pair of assos. After heavy mileage and abuse they are still more comfortable and in better condition than my week old Giorodana team bibs.

Check out this bee sting to the face...about 3 weeks ago during the sprint on the roasters ride....bang......!

I promise I will never post another self portrait of my ass.

Peace

This rant is dedicated to endorphin inspired lexigraphical compilation, assos, testosterone(self generated of course)and just a casual update.

2009-05-23T11:37:00.001-07:00

I'm fresh off the Roasters Ride. Marin's infamous battle ground where riders gather every weekend sporting their convolutedly colorful team spandex whilst burgeoneing with the lateset and greatest hecho in china plastic pride. An ungainly organized mass, we meander awkwardly down the asphalt while glares of death and impatient honk missiles are viciously spewed from the throat of the traffic monsters. We head out of town, away from the gas demons, gaining inertia in anticipation of the slaughter fest to come. Egos begin dancing like little fairy's, giddy and impatient. They hide their determined eyes in the depths of dark sunglasses and prepare to throw testosterone bombs in each others face. An act of eliminating a week of pooling hormones and pent up stress. Each rider, fully embraced in the moment of an epic duel to either blow ones self to pieces or destroy the fragile bonds of tenacious pride that cause each and every rider to endure cataclysmic suffering. It is a rabid, brutal, and savage ride. Unlike a race, we don't use strategy, we don't help each other. The goal or at least mine is to slay egos, bury them, suffer like this its my last moment. Its not a stage race, I don't have to finish. Just suffer so that next time I'm racing I have something to relate to and the hurt-box becomes a welcome comfort.

I haven't raced since the Gila....I even took 7 consecutive days off...and by that I mean on the couch off. I felt fat and lost. Penny less in ambition and pocketbook. Then two weeks of base training....a 12 min time trial, 30 min of tempo....more zone 2.....Boring...I needed to get out and cause pain, at least to myself. Warning! TANGENT approaching. In the simple polar terms of comfort and discomfort, I don't think its a good idea to forget how to suffer. Comfort to me is boring, and boredom leaves me in an unoccupied, directionless existence perpetually seeking more comfort...Guess what? Look around you...America is comfortable. America is boring, expressionless, lazy, and lifeless. Comfort belongs in a pair bib shorts...It belongs to Assos. If your able to be active, take advantage of it, embrace it, suffer on your own level, have fun, push the boundaries of your comfort. You might be amazed at what lies beyond. There are people in this world that don't get a chance to live comfortably. Human beings that live in a hole in the ground and get shit on by the rest of the world. Do them a favor and Don't invest in the numbing comfort of America...get out and experience the vibrance of the world you live in.

OK, back to today's ride.......i promise no more tangents.

I got my chance to be uncomfortable this morning and push my comfort zone. I unleashed a seismic explosion on the poor age groupers and cat 2/3/4/5 riders. I let them have it. Every time I attacked they just let me go... I pulled the entire group into the sprint at Nicasio and then turned the screws until they gave up. I left them to ponder the forces of continental drift while I took the sprint in Point Reyes, and the KOM at Olema. Finally I rode away into a false flat, towing one brave rider pegged at his limit. The likes of 20 riders couldn't catch me with 10k to go. Solo in your face...maybe next time...except I'm getting board and its time for the second half of the season. I'm going racing. I've outgrown this pond.

Still sitting here in my new pair of Assos bibs. Good thing they are intended for all day comfort....the only bibs I would ever spend my money on. The only company that doesn't build their shorts around materialistic image based marketing....They build marketing around the shorts....the shorts sell themselves as the most comfortable, most durable, best functioning shorts period.

Alright, I'm still sitting in my bib shorts, I've finished eating my huge bowl of hippie mix, granola and yogurt with lots of nuts and juicy ripe cantaloupe, and a splash of flax oil. Thank you Assos for you all day comfort. Thank you all for reading...If this post sounded at all egotistical, trust me, I know my place. I can feel the pain of everyone on this mornings ride....its the same feeling I have when I finish mid pack at an NRC stage race, or when Chris Horner goes casualy wizzing buy me as I'm drueling all over my top tube just trying to survive. Its all relative. Also check for my next post as It could be worth a laugh at my expense.

Rock Stars Moment of Glory

2009-05-10T16:32:00.001-07:00

I'd like to say thanks to my friend Mike Sorrenson from silver city NM for making me look like a bike racer in this photo....As you can see, Lance is a few wheels behind me, Horner is smiling like he always does when he is in pain, Levi is right behind me,(yes I know its hard to see. He's tiny, but you can see his Astana gloves and his white shoe, tucked inbetween me and Floyd Landis...)....With exception to me this could be a photo from the tour de france........These guys are racing in the Giro right now!.....How f-ing rad to be the one putting them in a spot of bother.......Ha!

This photo, which by the way should be on the cover of velo news, is from the crit in downtown silver city. It was a great day of racing and tons of fun....The field was super strong, obviously, and a break never went away. Consequentially the pace was fast and aggressive with the field strung out single or double file. Amazingly the front of the group seemed to be chasing the tail of the snake like peleton around each corner for the entire 1:36 min, 44 miles. That means 170 riders were stretched out almost a mile long. I stayed in the top 3rd of the serpents gullet for most of the race....and on a few rare occasions made it off the front for some sponsor time, but for the most part I was just enjoying the view....I think its safe to say that i was going no where....just lett'n the scrapper in me shine for a moment. Its not often that I get to race with a roster like this.

Thanks again Mike, for my moment of glory.

Home frome the gila

2009-05-06T10:41:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm home......and I'm a wreck. I raced my heart out for 5 days, drove 2200..miles(round trip), and drank gallons of starbucks coffee....I'm not going to mention some of the restaurants I ate at, lets just say it wasn't organic and my driving partner was a bad influence. I'm glad the drive is over. I still wish I was racing...after pouring everything I had into a five day stage race I feel kind of lost trying to figure out what to do afterward. Luckily I have a sinus infection....a little one...and I'm going to kill it.

I just raced with Lance Levi, and Horner........Holy shit, LOL that's something I never expected to do. Now the fun is over and I'm trying to make sense of it all......

First....Lance is the real deal....after racing with him for 5 min it's obvious, He is one of a kind, untouchable, a rider with genuine ferocity and pure determination. He is focused and aware, but on a completely different level than the rest of us......its as if his singular purpose or resonate frequency is fully realized and boldly expressed through each movement on his bike. Its like a great white shark as it attacks its prey. TV coverage of the tour de france does nothing to convey this.

Some quick highlights are......cresting the pinos altos climb and then passing the entire mellow johny's team...(lance included) then leading them out on the first descent.......I hardly pedaled, just wanted a clean shot at the descent, 170 guys on a narrow gnarly descent like this is not pretty and I didn't want to get caught out behind a crash or miss an acceleration. It was actually really cool because they couldn't hold my wheel on the decreasing radius turns and I'm sure they thought I was a lunatic for going so fast. Needless to say they all sprinted past me on the first little climb after the descent.....

Second highlight was riding the tt on my steel pegoretti with clip on bars....at first i was disappointed that I wasn't riding the Parlee,( the carbon braze on mount broke the night before I left for the race) but as it turned out using the pegoretti was pure motivation and in retrospect I think the bike performed better than I did.

Thirdly, not sure if that's a word..I got dropped on the first cat 2 climb of the last day. Then I decided to blaze the descent like a possessed grey squirrel from Marin. The tenacious little bugger that just stuffed his belly on table scraps from an overpriced breakfast eatery and is laughing in the face of civilized comfort while decisively evading cars as he dashes down cameo alto on his way to his little stand of conifers not yet overtaken by urban sprawl . That said its was a blast whipping in and out of the draft of the team cars(a skill honed on the slopes of teton pass) as they almost went off the road, (They were having quite a good time also, no cops to dish out tickets meant free time to rally the company car). I caught them all by the bottom, then It quickly blew to pieces on the way back up....Shit really hit the fan at a hemorrhaging ridiculous speed and our group of 70 was shattered into about 20 fragmented little groups.....this was a definite vision quest of a climb.....I just tried to stay conscious.

Gotta run.......the crit was great too......check back later.... addios

Copperopolis Road Race

2009-04-26T11:02:00.000-07:00

An epic battle in the sierra foothills...five 25 mile laps....5 brutal climbs....and roads that look like leftovers from world war I. Oh and Levi Leipheimer.....need I say more. I have a great story to go with this one, when I find time I'll wright it.

I love my pegoretti

2009-04-19T18:04:00.000-07:00

I can't begin to say how awesome this bike is...almost zero interest in ever riding a carbon bike again...steel is real and plastic is plastic.......The Marcelo is pure magic, descending, climbing, sprinting, training, riding.....get one before you can't...I want another.

Carbon is instant gratification, a sugar coated, caffeinated, euphoric, blast to the head. After half of an hour the buzz wears off and your left riding a piece of plastic held together with glue. A limp, flimsy, lifeless piece of mass produced Chinese assembly line garbage. Its price jacked up like a monkey on bananas laced with coke. Then sold to you by a bunch of over zealous, and probably overweight, marketing dorks who eat at McDonalds and place propaganda in your cranium about how its the best bike in the solar system because it uses special waffle wing-nut, aero-splunk, plastico carbon. right? Don't you realize? Just because your American doesn't mean you have to walk around in a drunken stupor stepping on your own tongue as you drool over the newest fad in bicycle marketing technology. Ride a well built steel or aluminum frame crafted from the hands of an artist and you will be happy for the rest of your days. Or buy a carbon frame from china...pay $3500......believe in what they tell you, (believe that trans fats don't hurt you, and cholesterol is bad, that's bullshit too)... It only cost them $300 and their gett'n rich and gett'n fat. ....then realize you just got ripped and feel sorry for yourself when you buy another one in two years. That's just my opinion....

The Marcelo, on the other hand, is like a teacher. You hate it at first. You challenge the teacher, try to outsmart it, but in the end you realize your wrong. The teacher has life experience, something that your youth and naivety have hidden from you. Trust. Learn. You arrogant little twerp. This bike was built buy the hands of a frame building god. His knuckles and fingernails twisted and drenched, dripping with artful creation and wisdom that's been gathered through experience. The marcelo blossoms with this knowledge and timeless skill, but you must learn it. you must let it teach you....because most likely you know nothing...let it blossom and it will erupt and ooze confidence from which you can launch the cagiest most fierce attack the riders behind you have ever seen.

I deserve to eat three mouthfuls of dirt and gravel, garnished with dog shit and bird doo doo, for every lame and thoughtless remark I made when I first got this bike.

sea otter road race

2009-04-17T21:06:00.000-07:00

Moments before this picture was taken, I was following Levi's move up the "wall." I thought to myself "holy shit this is the move and I'm on it, just hold it." I held it like i owned it until my anaerobic system blew sky high. i just don't think a 170 pounder is meant to go up a hill that fast. I was doing over 600 watts, just to keep their pace. It was fun and now I know how fast those guys go uphill....wow..

Back in the pack left to chase all day towing a bunch of wheel suckers all the way...

We eventually got Ian off the front and he soloed the last two laps for 15 place....However the guy recorded in the results for tenth place got dropped jumped back in on the next lap, got dropped again and finally after completing two less laps than the rest of us weaseled his way in for 10th.....those electronic timing chips work great if you cheat. Loser. I'm happy with our effort ...we rode strong especial since we only had three guys. We rode at the front when everyone elese was ready to give up and go home and then sent a guy up the road... perfect...now if I could only hold levi's wheel....

food for cyclist

2009-04-06T07:24:00.000-07:00

cardamom nutmeg, zucchini carrot muffins,some with chocolate chips

blue berry coffee cake....

a green curry

Brisbane circuit race

2009-04-05T21:23:00.000-07:00

Up the hill......Down the hill......repeat for 75 min.....This was a fun one. I decided right off that I would practice being mr conservative for at least the first 30 min, since this is something I need to practice. Especially after waltzing into yesterdays Wards Ferry road, dropping my chain, getting dropped, time trialing a constant distance behind the group for the last half of the race, and then finishing by myself in 8th place feeling like a total poser. That's what I get for plastering my stupid ego onto every available sponsor position of my jersey and leading out the first 20 miles attacking at random while still responding to every attack from every effing rider.
compared to yesterday this race was chill. I kicked back, enjoyed the view watching everyone else attack and then get smacked in the face by the wind...shut down! I just analyzed and sat on my pillow whisked up the hill like and angel blown by the breath of a mythical Greek god. Then with about 25 min to go I was following a move. I was only wanting to get to the front but when the wheels in front of me suddenly stopped, I was left with no choice but to launch an attack. It was to perfect of an opportunity to pass up so I pinned it ripping a trench through the headwind and opening up a huge gap over the top. Meanwhile the field was strung out single file throwing daggers at each other trying to determine the pecking order in the draft train. While they were dulling their knives I was motoring a hard but steady tempo burning up the descent opening up my lead with no one to obstruct my line. The next turn up the hill I was all alone cruising @ threshold. Near the top i could see a small group break off from the peloton and I was hoping they would join me without towing the rest of the field, but by my third solo run up the hill the small group caught me and promptly put on the brakes...I attacked again and chris phipps went with me, but a couple of cal giant guys were glued to our wheels. I threw down one more time but all of our stop and go had given the field plenty of time to catch on and it was back to an 80ish rider field. At this point I decided to sit in for a few laps...then another break went up the road and after a few laps Chris Turner took to chasing. He drove the field for a lap, then slingshoted me up the hill again chasing the group of three by myself...............It was in vein, I didn't make it but my efforts helped close the gap and I settled in, holding my position in the front for the last lap, (I actually paid attention to the lap cards for the first time)

I'm not super experienced at finishes so I was kinda tentative heading into the final meters mostly just following wheels, kinda boxed in...not sure when to sprint...Then when I realized how close the finish was it was too late, I put my head down and rocketed past a bunch of guys but ran out of ground while I was still accelerating...I managed the lowest place on the podium...5th...I learned a lot and its great to get one for the team but I feel like I definitely let this one slip through my fingers...and these opportunites don't come often....Overall it was a great race, and the first time the whole team was together....check the team website for more details. adios for now. acracer.blogspot.com

Wards Ferry RR

2009-03-31T07:23:00.000-07:00

This one was tough....Up, down, Up ,down, attack, chase, attack, chase, bump, pot hole, shit my water bottle, hill, bump, crash, attack, chase, narrow fast rough descent, hairpin, guys into the fence, dudes off the back, waterbottles flying, scattered, hill, me pulling, stupid, attack, chase, atack, bump, hole, rock, there goes a small group, I don't want to chase again. bump, attack, chase, just dangling up the road, thud, just three of us chasing now, oh just popped one, bang, ouch, climb, lost my chain, down to just one. Ian leaves me in the dust, I am dusted. chasing the pack, just in sight, Now I'm chasing Ian, whack, bump, deadly descent, repeat as Individual time trial for the next 25 miles, finish in 8th. Only 12 finished out of 30ish. Ouch.

movin on up

2009-03-22T09:36:00.000-07:00

The following request to change your USCF category has been approved and processed by USA Cycling:
bacon - 2009-03-20 8:11
Member: Kris Lunning
License: Road Racer
Request to change category from Cat 2 to Cat 1

Madera Stage Race

2009-03-19T06:39:00.000-07:00

Stage 1..Ben Hur hill climb....32.25, my 19th place finish was a whopping 3;37 off the pace of Ben jacues-Maynes...I guess that's why he was top 15 at the tour of California. The Parlee TT bike chad is letting me use for the year was amazing...a 16lb tt bike with disc wheel....Iit feels like a climbing machine, stiff, responsive, aggressive, and full of energy. only wish my legs did it justice....

Stage 2. a flat 10.3 mile tt.....it was another ride on the parlee and I felt better but still missing the power I usually feel in a tt. we calculated how fast I would have to ride in order to beat last years best time.....27.3 mph, and I beat that at 27.6mph, but with Ben's horse power, a new course record was set and I was left in the dust. 22nd place.

The afternoon crit was a blast....i think I might have attacked a bit to much, launching off the front to debut of the Above Category black and white. I proved my physical strength with the vengeful elegance of a Hyena feasting on the stolen prey of a pride of lions. However my racing IQ needs a bit of work. We were riding for Chris Turner and for the most part we were doing a good job as he conserved for the finale. With 10min to go Turner flatted. I wish my parents taught me to read, cause I still cant figure out what the lap cards say. it is the 2nd crit this year that I crossed the finish line thinking "shit, that was the last lap...." I never heard a bell, or saw the lap cards. This race was a lot of fun, but I raced like with my legs and left my head at home...I'm glad that at least my legs are feeling strong.

Sunday mornings road race rolled out of balmy 48*F barnyard full of cows, racers and a cloud embrocation. It warmed up quickly as we threw ourselves violently off the front of the peloton aiming to get away from the group... I through a bag of daggers at the peloton but came missed everyone eventualy setting Turner up as he walked right into the perfect escape group. They stayed about "2:30 up the road and the rest of us chilled.....Webcore eventually realed them in because their man in the break couldn't ride his bike and cartwheeled off the road. After the catch, it turned into a strung out war zone on roubaix style roads blasted by paleolithic crosswinds, terrorized by the strongmen ripping the cord of elastic and tearing the field apart. I was caught out a good distance behind with gaps opening up every 5th rider but managed to stay in the top 30. It settled through the feed zone and I survived the last lap to finish with the sprinters, but no kick left in my wasted legs.....top 20 overall....I'm content but not satisfied.. I want to be the one stretching the elastic....I want to severe it with my pegoretti.

Todays ride

2009-03-10T22:43:00.000-07:00

3 hours.......with 30min temp 290-330, then 5x6 min @ 400-450......says the coach, mr Craig Upton, .......Yikes it was cold this morning, frost and ice on every windshield. Good thing Ian and I started it off with 4o min of climbing. The '1500 ascent to Pantol is a great way to get warmed up and sweaty while avoiding the cold damp air of the lowlands. Usually by the time we get to the top it has warmed significantly, but not today... By the time we finished blazing the brand new banked and burmed asphalt descent into stinson beach the warmth we had worked so hard for had evaporated. Extracted from our cores it flows like petrol through massive veins and arteries. Drowning electronic fuel injectors as they spew at increasing capacity to propel an oversize SUV burgeoning with children playing X-box fantasy games in the back seat to lunch @ McDonalds. As if that wasn't cold enough, whatever heat we could generate from riding tempo was lost along the frozen lagoon to bolinas....by the time we made it back to stinson to start our first interval we were thawing out, albeit slowly. I would love it if I only had to do two of these intervals, more than that and they just plain suck, especially after being sick, and loosing 5lbs in one week. Upton....I hate being your guinea pig, but you Efing never cease to make me faster. agh!!!!!!!!! 420....415....405......BONK!!!!!!!!!!!!!.......398 and horrendously sloppy to finish it off. Last time I nailed all of them at about 410watts...but the rath of sickness still lingers and I am weak....I pledge to the Holy chain ring gods and swear to the SRM demons that lurke on my digital display....I will do these @ 430watts............Mark my words....To be continued.......I'm wasted..

The sickness

2009-03-10T22:06:00.000-07:00

Getting back on it after being on and off sick again since pine flat road race

pine flat

2009-03-10T22:00:00.000-07:00

3rd place.....more to come...super small field...I launched a solo attack, not entirely on purpose with about 5 K to go...the last 1k being steep as all hell, i got caught out by two light weight toothpick bone heads that sand baged it in a field of 11 the entire62 mile day... I mean how do you sandbag it in a field of 11....work you fear mongers..show a little grit...who even cares about winning a pro field when only 11 no-ones show up. Actually the guy that got 2nd was on Rock Racing but he faked it all day.....wimp...chump. go home....I will crush you!

Taining day with a friend...

2009-02-26T21:01:00.000-08:00

Soliloquize, I somehow added this word to my limited lexicon, light years ago. It means roughly "to talk to oneself." I'm so good at this activity that I sometimes wonder about my sanity. All winter I've been training , and each day I thrust my tortured soul through a mirage of misty internal make believe. My body simultaneously traveling the route of a twisted labyrinth made from concrete and asphalt. I cruise the path laid before me as it meanders across coastal bluffs, and craggy cliffs. I push harder over rolling hills and eventually crest the mountains. The pacific ocean explodes into view, its beautiful blue vastness blasting my spatial awareness into gyroscopic turmoil. I slowly gather my spatial awareness like a lethargic sloth with its tail twisted around a ton of lead weights as it trudges uphill with velcroe on its feet. A bit more centered, I dive into moss and lichen laden depths of lushs green forest and flow through the wise shadows cast from mingling redwoods. The natural imagery combined with my wandering mind put me into a third dimension, and then my SRM slaps me out of my sacred place and tells me to push harder.
Let me tell you something, the SRM is one of the greatest things to happen for training, but as an athlete always pushing oneself, you learn to hate the little shit ass contraptions.....It never gets easier.....the numbers always go up...and you always struggle to hold a wattage, or exceed a previous wattage. This is how we get better, but this is also why I hate my SRM!...It tells me precisely how and when to inflict pain on myself, putting me smack in the center of my hurt box shackled to chain of mr pain. After repeating this procedure daily, my neck has become permanently crooked, twisted into an awkward grimace as if it were the most efficient place to suffer. You could almost call it home.

Today I had a friend to suffer with and it was great....5x6min above threshold intervals 400-450 watts....If it wasn't for Ian's amazingly consistent pace setting I would have lost the motivation to keep myself in the hurt box.....and the Hurt Box is where it all happens....not the 30 seconds of glory sprinting past some tired old guy who just got his chamois handed to him on the roaster ride, but we're talking 6 min of lubricating your chain, knees, and handlebars with drool. 6 min with your eyes fixed blankly on the endless road ahead. 6 min wheezing like an elephant sprinting uphill lusting after its mating partner with a punctured lung. 6 min in the 400 club...step it up Johnson. Its good to have a friend, especially after 4000 miles of base work, and many days alone in the rain.

Thanks IAN

Cherry Pie crit

2009-02-19T11:06:00.000-08:00

Lined up for the first race of the year, and I'm not sure if I was intimidated or inspired when I saw the pre reg roster which included Garmin Chipoltle, BMC racing, OUCH, BISSEL, and Cal-Giant. In total a 120 rider field...I was definatedly a little nervous. Garmin stayed home.....but that would have been fun.

The race consisted of 1 mile laps with a short hill/descent and a lot of wind. A break went off the front and stayed off for the duration leaving the rest of us to chase. Chase?..... Hmmm?...each other or the lead group?.......Bingo!......we fought each other every lap with many promising chase groups, but try as we all did, is was just one solo effort after another. In the end all efforts yielded not an inch of progress. We all had our chance to show our grit, put on a show, tuck back in the peloton, rest and try again like a bunch of peacocks strutting our stuff we all got denied! The break of two stayed away and stole the prize. I was proud to stay off the front solo for a lap...but what did it get me? YEAH, NOT MUCH....Turner stayed away for a lap also, but if we were on the same page a well timed counter atack may have hit the spot.....When we graduate from bicycle racing 101 we might actualy do some damage. Until then were just a bunch of strong circus fowl show birds in a stadium putin on a show for all to see.......just wait till we smart'n up.

All said I had a great time and learned a lot. It was a great way to start the season....I ended up 18th and teammate Chris Turner ended up 24th...not bad.

check out this site for a cool vid..

http://www.deltavelo.com/09_race_videos/cherry_pie/cherry_pie_pro_men.html